I have been very disgruntled and mumbling all over the 5th wheel that my life is not supposed to be like this…looking at the ceiling mumbling to God telling Him how upset I am with Him that He has not fulfilled His promise to me that He had made long ago. That life is not supposed to be this hard, some trials here and there, maybe ones that last a few years even, but good grief! I mean I really let Him have it!!! Come on now…admit it, you can’t say there hasn’t been a time or two that you haven’t just let it all out and let the Master know what you thought of how your life was going and that well, He just needs to knock it off!
I felt a nudge but I did not really pay it much mind. I continued with my mumbling and grumbling. Upset about being somewhere that was not what I was told it was, having a new health issue (because my previous ones were not bad enough), the fact that my truck had some problems that I could not address now because of extra funds being spent to be where I was!!! More mumbling and grumbling. More writers block.
It was recently pointed out to me by someone that I love dearly that I maybe need to look at things a little differently. Maybe I stop being angry at the person that misled me on the information to move here, being angry about not being able to have everything perfectly the way I would have it. Maybe I needed to look at what I needed to be doing. After all God gave me a calling to write, to reach out, speak, expose the truth and fight did he not?
But…but…how am I supposed to do that when I have so many road blocks? The only road block was myself. My anger. After pondering what this person had lovingly said, this anger was not at other people and if I am to be completely honest it wasn’t completely at God. It was at myself.
Oh sure, I had plenty of anger at my ex, the person that was selfish, or the person that mislead me…but I was angrier at myself now because though on the outside it appeared that I let that anger go, I held on to it. I let a tiny bit of it hang on like a sliver and tint every aspect of my life and it was not ALLOWING God to fulfill His promises to me, nor was it allowing me to use the gifts He bestowed upon me to do what He asked of me.
Doing this was also not allowing me to receive blessings from Our Loving Father either. He may not magically strengthen my wi-fi, make my MS go away and I may not find $20,000.00 on my next walk; but doors tend to open a little easier when your will is aligning with His.
I see much anger in the realm of this fight to get our republic back as well.
I am wondering if maybe you need a loving nudge as well. I know you WERE justified to be angry, but are you justified to hang on to it? You say you aren’t. I said the same thing. Most people would say that I was the most forgiving person in the world, that I was incredible in that aspect…most of the time I can be, for some reason the past three years I hit a glitch, maybe you did too. Do a soul search with the Creator ask Him to show you. I can guarantee He won’t miss a thing. Humble yourself before Him, be real. You will be surprised.
Many are holding on to anger about the murder of LaVoy, the betrayal of Mark McConnel and many, many other people we once trusted our lives to. Others are angry that some got released as others are still sitting behind “bars.” Many are angry at the legal attacks that have come against much loved friends Pete Santilli, Deb Jordan and Shari Dovale resulting in the media pages of others being damages or destroyed. Then there is the anger over Kelli Stewart, Gavin Siem, and John Lamb and all that entails along with much more that has happened and I am sure is coming.
Now, do I understand the angers, of course. Do I understand dealing with the situations, of course. This is what you have to look at and deal with each and every time. Is that anger yours to have, is it worth it and are you holding on to it? Is it getting in the way of God using you and/or blessing you?
I see old angers, I feel it’s tiny little weed like roots in this good thing that is going on and it is choking out some great things that could be happening. I am certain that it is keeping you and everyone around you stale and not seeing what could spark something wonderful and on a massive scale. A Creator size scale.
So my friends, maybe you need to look at things differently too. Is there something maybe holding you back from any of God’s promises? Ever think maybe it is you holding you back? Just asking because I am sure glad someone loved me enough to have a tough love talk with me, just paying it forward with some people I have grown to love.